My daughter recently transitioned from Baby to Toddler, and the frustration, fear and stress levels in my home have doubled. Toddlers are amazingly fearless, despite taking countless tear-inducing tumbles. I have been struggling to keep my cool between teething, learning "no", challenging every rule put upon her, and figuring out that she can just toss food on the floor.
More and more I want to start meditating, but there's just no time. I run a small business from my home, have a very mobile toddler, and my husband works 60-hour weeks. Nap time is business and housework time.
I'm also struggling with the feeling of being domesticated. Am I embracing my inner strength and respecting my inner Goddess by cleaning up ALL the messes and folding ALL The laundry and not taking time for me? Am I selfish for wanting time for me? Transitioning from the Maiden to the Mother aspect in my life has left me endlessly confused. Many people believe that becoming a mother means giving up everything that makes you you. Giving up a social life and personal goals and hobbies. I can't believe that, to be honest. My daughter is not a drain on who I am, she is an addition to who I am.
The big question, to stay on theme, is whether or not I'm maintaining my sacred feminine and being a strong woman by allowing myself to be "domesticated" as I feel I am becoming. Or is this just another way to embrace it? I know feminism is about choice. You're not NOT a feminist when you decide to become a stay at home mom, but somehow people think of you as LESS of a feminist when you make that decision.
It was not a hard decision for me to make. I knew who I wanted to be, what I wanted to be. This was not a question. It was a given.
I think part of being a mother is being confused and stressed. Part of being a mother is being selfless. I can deal with giving up what I've given up. What I'm getting in return is my child's love. That's enough for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment